Theoloneous P. Akely's writing career over the past year ha begun to take off. The creation of Private Eye Jack Quaid, based upon his friend John Brennan, and Quaid's adventures had struck a cord with the American public. Unlike much of the usually sequalic garbage in the top 50, Akely work hearkened back to Tolkein and CS Lewis, fun adventure, but more akin to literature.
John Brennan, was a Private Eye, and a pretty good one in his own right. He made a name for himself solving cases, the police had abandoned. John loved the fact Jack Quaid based on him, and the fact no one but he and Akely knew that. It was strange Akely and him had become friends. Akely the academian, the "sensitive guy with the pony-tail and a copy of Naked Lunch under his arm", and Brennan, the gruff, beer swilling, fast talking private dick.
Even more interestingly, they had both been accepted into what the media had dubbed as Arbuckle's Challenge.
Dr. Phineus T. Arbuckle was a very rich man. Billions passed through his companies, bank accounts, and organization on a daily basis. Dr. Arbuckle had just celebrated his 95th birthday, and althought healthy, had become concerned with his inheritance. He had no heirs, and did not want to see his empire broken into pieces, and fought over by the corporate sharks. Arbuckle, being rather eccentric, devised a contest of sorts to find a heir.
That is when Arbuckle's Challenge appeared. The Newspapers, Internet, Television, come one, come all and apply to become the heir of Dr. Phineus T. Arbuckle. 1000's of applicant's applied, only 15 were accepted.
Alphose Garcia was shocked when he received his golden ticket (Arbuckle was a big fan of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), as were Brennan, and Akely. Being a young 18 year old man, living in the projects of New Bedford MA, this was not only his way out of the gangs, drugs, and drivebys but also a way for him to get his mother out of poverty; a way to take this money and improve these neighborhoods; A way for him to leave the lifestyle that was going to lead to his death.
The letter that accompanied the gold ticket was simple and direct:
Dear Contestant,
You have been accepted to participate in Arbuckle's
Challenge. You
will present yourself and this ticket to Grace Manor, at 1582
Russell Mills Rd.
in South Dartmouth, MA, this coming Saturday at 8PM. Dress
Formally.
Dr. Arbuckle
This same letter also appeared in the mail box of EMT Jeff VanSkyhawk, early that week. Jeff was excited, and beside EMT graduation, this was the most exciting moment of his life. If he could win this, he could finally be rid of the 1988 Dodge Shadow Turbo, with the oil leak. Jeff soon found out that a associate of his, officer Sean Griffin, had also won a ticket. Jeff had known Sean a few years, and they had grown to like a mutual respect each other. They every so often went to lunch, but really did not consider themselves friends. They decide though, that this might make them friends.
The news was reporting that several others had gotten tickets, but not everyone came forward to reveal their winfall. This was becoming a much bigger news story than any of the contest entrants had expected.
Saturday quicky came and all the contestants made their way to Grace manor, in an effort to meet the 8:00PM deadline. Russell Mills Rd. Was a wide two lane, winding road that cut across the wooded shoreline forest of South Dartmouth, MA. This road was now lined with media, emergencies services, and well wishers. This shocked the contestants as the headed the half mile or so the Grace Manor. The long driveway of the manor, was also lined with media trucks, television cameras, reporters and paparazzi. Contestants were led down to a large parking area, in front of a huge carriagehouse/garage, and parked their cars among dozen of exotic and expensive automobiles. Dressed in their finest outfits, valets led them into the manor proper, which was an old huge Whaling mansion from the mid-1800's. They were led into a large, ornate and luxurious foyer, and to the left into a similar library. The Library was large 40' by 20' and the wall filled with old leather bound books. Several leather couches were about the room. Butler and maids went in and out serving drinks and hors d'oveurs to the contestants.
The contest introduced themselves and made small talk. The contestants were as follows.
Theoloneus Akely: A tall man with above average looks. He was in his early thirties and wore his long brown hair in a pony tail. He had piercing blue eyes. He was dressed in a very expensive tuxedo.
John Brennan: Also fairly tall, fairly handsome 31 year old. He had close cropped brown hair, and war a vintage suit, with wing tips.
Alphose Garcia: A short fat 18 year old, of Latin descent. He wore his brown hair slicked back. His face was rather plain and unrecognizable. He wore a rented suit, that di not fit particularly well.
Jeff VanSkyhawk: Would be very unremarkable if not for his beanpole body style. At 6'6" and 165 lbs, he was the tallest person in the room. His blond hair was a bit of a mop on his head, as was his ill fitting rented suit.
Sean Griffin: Was also pretty tall, but unlike Jeff, built like a tank. Ever the police officer, he wore his dress blues, but was other wise unremarkable.
Thetis Quitinalla: Was a very sexy and sultry Latin woman. She was a prosecuter for the city of New Bedford, and had come a long way from Venezuela, her birth country. She wore a very short red dress, and flouted here curvaceous form. She had very long black hair. She of course had the attention of most of the men in the room, especially Theoloneous. John though had taken an immediate disliking to her.
Yuki Asuki: Was a fairly well know architect. Short and thin, the 55 year old Japanese man, was very respected in his field. He wore a plain tuxed, and kept his hair and moustache neatly trimmed. His large rim glasses gave him almost a grandfatherly feel.
Anne Cote: Was the head librarian of the New Public Library. Mousy the extreme, she wore her blonde hair tightly in a bun, and wore a smart little business suit. She was quite a bit shy and spent most of her time perusing the books through her horn rimmed glasses.
And finally, the was Kenneth Shamrock: Ken was nothing more than a skate, as proven by how he was dressed, he even had a skateboard under his arm. Ken had had a few run ins with Officer Griffin, and they were eyeing each other with venom.
The contestants engaged in small talk, and perused the books, when the old German Clock in the corner, erupted with a bong, at 8:00PM. A few seconds later, a double door was opened in the back room, and Dr. Arbuckle and two large Mafia thug looking guys enter the room. Dr. Arbuckle is dressed is a Kimono. His bald head shining in the light. They were followed by a thin man with a brief case.
"Good evening contestant, I am Dr. Phineaus Arbuckle, welcome to my home" he began. "I am sure you all have questions, but first, we must get some formalities out of the way, may I introduce, Cyril O'Leary esq." The man with the briefcase, steps forward, dropping the briefcase on the table, and opening it.
UPDDATESMalach will be gone this weekend and once again have no internet access. I will be back sometime on Sunday. So bump those webcomis vote buttons to the left, while I am gone.
I also submitted my webcomics for review at
WebSnark.com. Evidently this is the Ebert and Roper of webcomic reviews. So harrass them to read. I figure even if the hate it, any publicity is good publicity.
I am MALACH, you are probably someone like Oply.
. I assure you you won't be disappointed. Trust me, you have heard his songs, done by more popular artists, and boy did Rod Stewart butcher Downtown Train.
