THEY'RE RUININ' MY SUMMAH!

5.26.2005

As a native New Englander, I am very used to Mother Nature's fickleness when it comes to New England weather. Nor'Easters, Blizzards in late April, 70 degress in December, beautiful one minute, hurricane the next. There is a old saying around here: "You don't like the weather, wait five minutes".

All cliches aside, this Weather is starting to PISS ME OFF. We have not had one day over 70 degrees since Spring began. Yesterday, May 25th, it is 45 degrees, pouring, high winds . . . a fuggin' Nor'Easter (for the uneducated that is New England for a ocean powered blizzard that spins and comes in from the North East). STOP IT! The average temp this time of year is 68 degrees, this months average, 50, if that. I have even sent threatening e-mails to local meteorologists.

Speaking of meteorologist, is that not the best job in the world? They pay you to guess. The only two jobs in the world, where you only have to be right 30% of the time and be considered one of the best in the indusrty: Meteorologist and Designated Hitter. I chose the wrong profession.

Which bring me to my next point; My beloved Boston Red Sox. I too stated . . ."I only want to live long enough to see the Red Sox (Patriots) win one". You would think I would be happy? Red Sox Nation is the largest subsection of depressed people in the world. IT ACTUALLY PUTS ME IS A BAD MOOD WHEN THEY LOSE (man the basball season is long). WTF is that all about. They are currently going through a bad stretch right now, and you should hear The Nation talk. Mark Bellhorn DIE! Bench Millar! Renterria = Rent- a - wreck! The gallows will be out soon. Anyone not from this region, go to WEEI.com, and sign up for their live webstreaming, and listen to how insane we all are. Wait until 6PM and listen to the Whiner Line. Man, if the F'n Yankees, were in 1st place, it would be 10 times worse. You would think the Witch Trials would start up again. Man, them damn, Yankees, they are the Nazi's to Red Sox Nation. Walk around here, and see young men wearing "Jeter is a Fag" and "GAY-rod" t- shirts . .
. You wanna know how bad it really is? I still have this saved on my computer:



No wonder A-rod needs therapy. This local punk group did this song called "Here We Go Patriots". The entire songs lyrics was the rest of the NFL teams followed by "They Suck!". The chorus, "Here We Go Patriots". The last line of the song goes, "New York Yankess, They Suck!" Yes, sad. The really sad part is, the Sox are only 1 game off of last years pace, their offense is the same (even though Manny's hitting like . .. oh pick a dead relative), their pitching is only slightly worse.

I can still remember crying when the ball went through Buckner's legs . . . A quote from Red Sox Nation, Public Enemy number 7, Grady Little: "In Boston there are not 162 games, there are 162 seasons". Perfect. Too bad he wasn't smart enough to take Pedro out of game 7 in 2003.

Luckily, Jerry Remy, the world's best announcer, does their games. If you have not heard the Rem-Dog, you do not know what you are missing.

Ok, catch my breath . . .

Dear God,
Please bring the summer soon. In exchange I will give you a co starring role in JesusMan.

Your Fresh Friend, with Mad Skillz,

Malach.