There has been a lot of debate recently about music, what is worthwhile, what is wrong with modern music, and good stuff you never hear across the internet world recently. The following are 14 albums, that if you consider yourself a music eficianado, you should pick up. My criteria for this list was artist, who have had some influence on music, but perhaps did not get the recognition they deserve. Or perhaps an album, that has been overlooked. This is my little effort to pull the kids away from the corporate shlock that is shoved down their throats.
1. The Amazing Royal Crowns (self titled): The Crowns were a New England based phenemonon, that broke up before they could really make it big. Take Elvis, swing, rockabily, and punk, and combine. They played some very catchy tunes. The closet thing I can compare them to is Social Distortion or Reverend Horton Heat. This band still has heavy influence on much of the punk scene to day (I am not refering to Green Day)
2. The Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique: A classic of modern hip hop, rock, and alternative, this changed the Boys from partying frat boys to actually artists. Very few people liked this album originally, as it was way ahead of it's time. Still is.
3. Jeff Buckley - Grace: Listen to Jeff Buckley and hear the voice of God. If not for his untimely death, he would be one of the greatest singer/songwriters of my generation. This album is very hard to listen to and not shed a tear.
4. Cake - Comfort Eagle: Cake has had some seminal hits over the years, but nothing as wonderful as this album. Combining spoken word, some black humor, jazz, funk and rock, Cake will get your hips moving, the chicks singing, and even a mosh pit flowing. We ARE buliding a religion.
5. Ani Difranco - Little Plastic Castles: You can't go wrong with any thing by Ms. Difranco. Excellent singer song writer, huge influence of modern female angst/rriot grrl music. Ani is Joi Mitchell, only better. Social concious, and folksy, with a touch of rock.
6. Faith No More - Angel Dust: Many people seem to forget the groundbreaking work Faith No More did. But forget the Real Thing; Angel Dust is one of the greatest albums ever created. This is the first Album of FNM, that Mike Patton had a lot of creative control on (Patton is my favorite Male singer), and the creativity is years ahead of it's time. I dare you not to like it.
7. Fugazi - 13 Songs: Again an band you really can't go wrong with, ushered punk, emo, and social consious music into the modern era. Schockingly, Fugazi never signed to a major label, nor charged any more than $5 to see a show, and still got rich.
8. Helmet - Meantime: If you like heavy music, go here. Helmet unshered in the modern era of the loud, wall of sound style of music. They were not metal, they were not hard rock. I saw them in 1992, and the sound waves from the music made me vomit. They have a very interesting vocal stylization.
9. Luscious Jackson - Natural Ingredients: These ladies, are the female version of the Beastie Boys, with a bit more funk. Excellent Album. Will make you feet move.
10.Morphine - Cure For Pain: Another band you can't go wrong with any of their albums. Morphine also met an untimely death, their lead singer died of heart failure on stage. Morphine is unlike anything you have ever heard. The band consisted of a Bassist/Vocalist, a Sax, and Drums. They made this very tribal, beat, sexy jazz rock.
11. Liz Phair - Exile in Guyville: Experience the real Liz Phair with this album. This is one of the greatest albums of all time. The stuff liz has done recently was done to "sell albums", not these.
12. Pixies - Doolittle: The greatest band you never heard of. This band had more influence on modern rock than any save Nirvana. This band stuff is eclectic and weird, but amazing. If you have not heard the Pixies, do yourself a huge favor.
13. PJ Harvey - Dry: Polly Jean makes amazing music that is all. Stuff that will blow your mind. If strong women scare you stay away from this one.
14. Ween - White Pepper: This is the Beatles of the modern era. Never having the same album twice, this is one of their best works. You will be shocked that this gets no radio play when you hear it.
Have fun with these, more to come in the future. I am Malach and you are not.
14 Albums everyone should own . .. Pt. 1
Dubya Jr. aka Tony Blair or Things that make you go Hmmm. . .
I swore I was not going to comment on the London Bombings, and not actively participate in the Blog Wars with a post, but Tony Blair, aka Dubya Jr., has forced my hand. Blair, the idiot, recently stated to Parliament:
Particularly with the shock of knowing that those that have perpetrated this
were actually born and brought up in this country, I think it is particularly
important we recognize the worldwide dimension of this
Well no shit Sherlock . . . The Stupidity of this man, and the Bush Administration shocks me. Don't you idiots realize the rest of the world hates the US and the UK. Even some of your own citizens hate you, and would do anything to destroy you and your country. The US, and UK, have basically thumbed there nose at the opinion and ideas of the rest of the world. These terrorist organization work like the drug trade and gangs, and that is why a "War on Terror" is unwinnable. They get recruits young, and "brainwash" them to their way of thinking. Do not be shocked if terrorist attacks occur in this country perpertrated by US citizens.
And both these administration seem to be blinded by the fact, that the rest of the world, does not appreciate them.
See that short and too the point, I am now open to your Blog Wars comments.
Gene Hackman, my mortal enemy . . .
Good Day. In a effort to diffuse the Blog Wars, having no interest in attacking the Bush administration, and no real comment on the terrorist attacks in London, I have decided to post something a bit lighthearted . . . how Gene Hackman is my mortal enemy.
A little background first, as most of you know I play a lot of sports and was also pretty darn good pitcher at one time (another story). Some of you may or may not know, that beyond a freelance artist, a creator of webcomics, husband, father of tow toddlers, my fulltime job is the Director of Disability Services, for a very large non-profit in Southeastern, MA. My road into human services is also another long story; because I very much enjoy working with persons with disabilities, I also volunteer for Special Olympics (yes, I can hear your jokes now). I do a lot of different things for SOMA (Special Olympics- MA), but my favorite by far is Unified Softball.
For those unfamiliar with Unified Sports, quickly it is slow pitch softball, half the teamates are "normal" athletes and the other half are disabled. You play at all times with half and half, fielding and batting. There are several divisions, based upon skill level, and the team I am on, is a top skill level team; this team is almost good enough to take on a "normal" men's softball team, as is all the teams in that division (you should come see it some time, you'd be impressed), or at least give them a run for their money. The majority of player who are disabled are mentally retarded, but there are some who are boderline, and few others with other disabilities.
Which brings me back to me, and Gene Hackman. Not to toot my own horn, but I am a VERY good slow pitch softball pitcher. I can throw a curve, and slider, high arc, low arc, and a knuckle ball (it is an actual underhand knuckler, I am the only one in any of the leagues I play in who can throw it). Now before you start thinking about strike outs, that is not the goal, it's still slow pitch softball. My goal is to induce pop flies, and dribblers, which I do fairly consistently. In all the years I have pitched, I have only ever found 1 batter who can consistently hit my stuff. GENE HACKMAN. I think in the years I have played against him he is something like 18 for 20 against me.
Gene Hackman, as my team affectionately calls him, is a guy named John, who plays for The Fitchburg (Ma's) Giants. What little I know about John is the following.
1. He is around 60
2. He was institutionalized for much of his early life (again this was common in MA, and is another blog).
3. He is funny as all hell.
4. He looks like Gene Hackman, if Gene went the route of the Unabomber.
First, John is a talker, always talking, teasing, a little playful trash talking, and no matter what pitch I toss he, he ends up at first base. Slider, curves, knucklers, he hits it all and hits the ball hard and to holes. All the time rounding the bases, he jaws at me. I have met no other batter, disabled or not who can do this to me. He drives me nuts, but I love him.
We had a tourney today, and played his team three times. He got up at least 8 times. We got him out once. I tip my cap to him.
This brings me to one of my favorite rants . . . the word retard(ed). Would you call someone who you thought was acting stupid the N-word (for those of you who do not know what the N-word is, go ask your parents, I find that word to be the most insulting word in the language, and refuse to write, or say it)? Well the word retard(ed) is just as hurtful, and derogartory. Mental Retardation is generally a birth defect marked by an IQ of under 75, and dificiencies in 2 of 10 activities of daily living (ADL's). It effects 3 in every 100 persons born in this country (yes it is that common). It is caused by genetic defects, problems around birth, and later health issues. When you say someone is "a retard" or that something is "retarded" you are implying by that statement that someone or something stupid occured. That is as insulting as using the N word to describe something that is stupid. Remember that next time you use that word, which seems to be ever popular among the kids (very common word to use at forums). It is more than likely that if you do not know anyone mentally retarded now, you will someday. It only takes one car accident to put you in the same boat. I see that everyday. Think about what you are saying.
Updates
We are hosting a new webcomic, entitled Adventures in the New West. It is about a wagon train, that sets out West in the 1980's. A bit crudely drawn, but funny. Check it out, the first 4 pages are now loaded.
I will begin work of the next page of JesusMan tomorrow. This means that a new page should be up by Wednesday. The Wraith by the Weekend. I have also loaded two Webcomics List buttons to your right, click them once a day to keep the doctor away.
We are 2000 hits away from 300,000 hits, not bad since the site opened 2/22/05. Thanks as always. We are now averaging 20,000+ hits per week.
If you would like to support this site, click some ads, buy some shiite through Amazon via this site.
I am Malach, you are NOT!
Malach is Back! or Bye Bye New Beige.
Last night, while my captors slept, I escaped . . . My powers immediatley returned, and I obliterated any remains of the Brothers Selakaunt. Too bad about that nice bounty they got from there demands. Hated to destroy that stuff.
They move went mostly succesful. Everything is in the new house and 60% unpacked. It is very nice to move out of the city of New Bedford . . . more on that to follow. But a few observations about moving:
1. Moved in to a house 3 times the size of the old one, yet I had to knock a wall down to get an armoire up the stairs to the master bedroom . . . I still can't fit the box spring, and cannot knock anymore of the wall down. The stairs looks pretty freakin's sweet opened up like that.
2. Why is it, that when I rent a U-Haul, I always end up with the crappiest ones? This one was not the worst but, it was not good. AC not working, inspection sticker from 2000, 258,000 miles, had to floor it to get it going, and would not go faster than 55. And speaking of U-Haul, I figured out how they make their money . . . . Boxes. $40, for 17 boxes.
3. This house is large enough where one of us can get away from everyone else and still be in the house.
4. I have a seperate studio building, with heat, electricity, and CABLE.
5. On a whim, me and a few friends shaved our heads. I have a very round head.
6. Said this before: I hate Wal-Mart . . . But I love Wal-Mart . . . it's like heroin addiction.
The City of New Bedford, MA
I have talked about New Bedford (New Beige) in previous blogs, so some of this might be repetitive. I am not going to go into the entire history of the city, but will hit the high(low)lights. I have a love/hate relationship with the city, like Wal-Mart.
New Bedford was incorporated in the early 1700's. If you have ever read Moby Dick you would have at least heard of the city, the first chapter of the book, is set there. New Beige's past is glorious: Whaling Capital of the World, at one time the richest city in the world, Home to Frederick Douglass, the Delano-Roosevelts, Henry Huttleston Rogers, Albrect Beirstadt, Hetty Green, and occasionally Mark Twain and Harriet Tubman. The first Asian visitor to the New World, came to first New Bedford, and the first shots of the Revolutonary War Naval Battles were fought off it's shores. The epicenter for the Underground Railroad, and the playground of the rich and famous. That was New Bedford.
Something changed. Some changes gradual, some immediate. The first major event, was the outlawing of Whaling . . . You would have thought that would have killed this city, but no, city leaders back then, could think toward the future. They coverted to fishing (New Beige is still the #1 fishing port in the US) and manufacturing, and lo and behold, New Bedford, while less shiny, was still a jewel in the crown of the New World. Some of the world's largest and most financially sound industries were originally formed here.
Gradually, over the course of the next 150 years, manufacturers began moving out of the environs to more profitable ones, very gradually. So gradually that no one began noticing until the 1970's and 80's. Manufacturers would move, new ones would move in but not as many, and slowly, the change occured. Higer wage postions, with companies that cared, soon became low wage position with companies who cared nothing for the worker or his working environment. And the city leaders did not notice or did nothing about it. The upper class began to move out of the city, and waves of immigrants (who were willing to work for low wages and in poor conditions), began to move in and form their own neighborhoods. They would become financially sound and move out of the city, and the cycle repeated itslef. Even today you can go into certain neighborhoods of the city, and no one speaks english. Finally, the manufacturing jobs mostly disappeared, and if it wasn't for the fishing industry, this city would have died.
That brings us to the 70's, 80's, and 90's. The city began to fade. Race riots, 15% unemployment, businesses constantly closing and finally,the nail in the coffin, the influx of drugs, gangs, and organized crime. New Bedford became about drug trafficking (Fishing was always a good cover, the fishing industry here is still very much like the Mafia). In addtion, a political machine was established in this city, and it became pretty hard to do anything politically without answering to that machine. A machine that cared more about increasing it's financial well being, than the city itself.
This brings us to today. Today New Bedford is a city on the brink. The political machine is still there, but is fading, especially now that the mayor's wages are more in line with other cities in the region (the mayor of New Beige only made $48,000 a year, but that has been raised over the past couple of years to $98,000, more in line with the average which is $102,000), and qualified candidates are now running. Drugs is still a major issue in the city, and probably is the biggest "employer" in the city. You can buy a bag of herion on the streets for around $4. Murders are down this year (about 8). Gangs control many of the neighborhoods. Unemployment is still an issue, but down to about 8%. 60% of the population has a High School Degree, 10% a Bachelor's (this is also up). The latest influx of immigrants to this city are hispanic, and like the previous immigration population (which was portugese) no one speaks English. The largest employment populations of this city are Fishing, Human Services, and Retail. Property tax is out of control (3x the surrounding communities).
But there is hope. The city has been cleaned up and is beautiful. There are very few abandoned buildings (one of the reasons was property was dirt cheap, I bought my first house for $35,000, a few years ago you could buy an old Whaling mansion for $150,000), and many have been restored to their former glory, downtown has become a jewel, and rivals even Newport, RI. The public housing projects have gotten cleaned up, and the Housing Authority has a zero tolerance policy for crime. You can actually walk through them at night now. And the Neighborhoods have begin to mobilize to take the street back.
I moved into the subrubs, only 4 miles from my old home, but you would think I have moved to Jupiter, the change in atmosphere is that much. I am almost embarassed to tell you I feel, disdain for the old neighborhood.
UPDATES
Neeless to say, I have not worked on JesusMan or The Wraith at all. Hopefully I will get one uploaded next week. There are two new issues of Necromancer Ned. I hope BUG gets me some Notched Blade to tide you guys over.
I also added some new mural images to the main site galleries.
Thanks for all your concerns, and well wishes, they are VERY appreciated.
I am Malach, you are not.
Demand #3
These guys are insane animals, now that they have met the first two demands, they now demand:
A picture of Kelly the Ball Girl, marked with her lips, or, the space between David Ortiz's Teeth, for of all things, to rent for parties!
Is there no end to their madness?
DEMAND #2
Oh man they are getting nutty now, get this:
A used razor blade that was used to shave Robert Mugabe!
These guys are radicals help me!
I have found that bumping my webcomics has given me some power . . .. they come again I must go.
Demand #1
The have asked me to post this:
We the Brothers of Selakaunt, demand one extra large beach towel, with the Earth image of Spiderman on it..
More to come
HELP ME!!!
Damn, they are using hole punchers and puching holes in the original art of JesusMan Comics. IS THERE NO END TO THE EVIL THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO INFLICT. They have left for the time beings, something about having to "take the Cosby kids out for a swim", what ever that means, but they won't be gone long. They told me they would soon be posting demands, little by little for my safe return on several forums I frequent.
Dinner looks to be brussel sprouts . . .
Malach is dead?
I post this in great risk to myself, as I am currently being held hostage by some unknown, yet powerful entity. They have placed me in bonds, and stripped me of my powers, it took my last remaining strength to post this via my mental acumen.
A war began . . . a large war. I was swept up into the battle. I was captured by some very powerful beings, beings of great evil. They bound me with magic, powerful magics. I risk my personal life to get you this message. I am being held in a strange place, and place with no time, everything is frozen. Try as I might, I cannot break free of this prison. My tormenters have made no demands. They seem to delight is fuggin's around with me, shaving my head, and rubbing my skull, they keep me up, and let me sleep little, turning me into a nervous wreck.
The war contnues, though I know not who is winning, nor do I care. This is what happens when you have few allies, and concern yourself only with them accumulation of power.
I must leave you, they come . . . Oh god, I hear clicking.
HIATUS!!!!!! and some more random shiite.
Good day buckos. I am moving my studios and my place of residence this week; this means, I will have a few days of no internet service. The longest this should be is from 7/1 to 7/11. What does this mean for you? Lack of my wit and wisdom in this blog, lack of uploads of webcomics, lack of the presence of Malach in you lives .
In case you forgot:
JesusMan
The Wraith
Notched Blade
and The Ned Series
Yes, I can see your tears now . . . But don't worry, isn't the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder? And bump those webcomic rankings buttons!!! You'll go to Heaven, no questions asked. Just ask Josef Stalin.
The wife and I are moving out of the City of New Beige (which will be my next blog), and to the suburbs (new contact information). Going from the small house, with a tiny yard, to the huge house, with a huge yard. I am very excited, especially since the property has a seperate building that is out fitted perfectly for a studio. The kiddies will also be estactic, huge yard, dead end street, kid their age in the neighborhood. My 3 year old son is also enjoying packing.
So keep RubberSuit Studios company while I am gone, and any clients, just call if you need help.
Before we part some things that Malach has noticed that make him laugh, wonder, and rant:
1. I like to cruise blogs, and use the "Next Blog" button quite a bit. I have found a number a really good, blogs, that are not "popular". Two examples, Butterflies and Demons and Recollection, Reconcilliation and Redemption. These two blogs are interrelated, and not to ruin anything about them, are very good reads. They are a bit upsetting, and are not for kids, but they have made me think about how good my life is, and I thank their writers for that. I am not sure if they like my voyuerism, but they have not sent me death threats yet. I really hope you two find the peace of a long happy life, just from what I read, you deserve it. The other thing I have found, is that there are a lot of ad blogs, and a lot of porn blogs, which is rather scary. Very easy to stumble upon. I do like leaving strange messages at them though.
2. I have always wondered why Superheros like the Hulk, The Flaming Torch (I was going to fix this in an edit, but it now entertains me), etc, never lose their clothing. Everything tears off the Hulk but his pants? The Torch doesn't destroy his clothing from FLAME ON!?
3. I also find it very interesting that people think they know you from stuff you put on the internet, and then make assumptions about you life, you morals, etc. You can get into these rediculously heated arguments, and then you think, this could be a 8 year old on the other end. I also find it funny, that people use the web to anonymously attack others, with out fear of reprisal. Methinks these tend to be 13 year old who get beat on at school. I mean what purpose does it serve to go into a chat room and just randomly post profanity?
4. I find it also very interesting that I seemed be in the minority the past 6 years in my Dubya bashing, but now I can hardly find anyone on line to debate me except for Dr. Murk. I even have had several people say to me, Bush has turned them into Democrats.
5. I have had some nice but brief conversations with Frank Dirscherl, of this site and comic. Unsure if this will be maintained, but it is alwasy good to have industry contacts. Interestingly, our comics have nothing to do with either.
6. Reviewing my site stats, I came across this:
1. rubbersuit 186
2. rubbersuitstudios 38
3. rubbersuit studios 17
4. jesusman 17
5.www.rubbersuitstudios.com 13
6. stool sample web comics 2
7. female rubbersuit 1
8. holocommunicator 1
9. ruinin 1
10. stool sample blog 1
11. rubbersuitman 1
13. learn to draw animemanga 1
14. family guy avatars 1
15. rubbersuit family guy avatars 1
16. equal oppotunity 1
17. rubbersuitstudios.com 1
These are the phrases people have used on search engines and linked to my site . . . so how many you think were looking from latex fetish stuff? Funny also that if you Google Rubbersuit, my site is the first one that comes up.
Oh and one last thing:
Uncanny, is it not? Thanks to Codemaster for letting me steal his avatar.
See you suckers soon,
I am Malach and you are not.
The Death of Rock 'n Roll . . .
Before I go on my latest rant, I want to make sure people understand a few things. I know that the music industry is about making money, I know pop music is not made for me. But this is my world, and I can bitch about it.
Modern Music. I have metioned this on a number of forums, but it bears reapeating. Creativity is dead in the music industry. Try to make groundbreaking music, and you will be poor and unknown your entire life. I am not a huge U2 fan, but Bono said something very true at U2's recent induction into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. First he went on to bash the music execs and the garbage they were force feeding the public, then he said (and I am paraphrasing) it is really sad, that a band like U2, would never get signed in this day and age . . Think about that, think about the new music you hear on the radio, U2, a band that has sold millions of albums, and been perhaps one of the most influential bands of the modern era, would not get signed today and if signed would get no airplay.
Music today follows a formula.
Pop: Find a sexy hot male/female (it helps if they can sing, but not nessecary), give them some cheese ball lyrics, and a funky dance beat. The lyrics must definietly either be about sex, imply that (not even subtley). I have gone of on this a bit on may last blog entry: Malach's to ELIMINATE List, and especially went to town of the ladies, but it is just as bad with the males. There is nothing I see creative going on in Pop music. Now don't get me wrong, it has it's place, but when you see how serious someone like Britney Spears takes herself, it makes me want to vomit. Addtionally, why does everyone over sing everything. Hold a note, no one cares to hear you go up and down you vocal range. You need help, listen to Aretha, Ella Fitzgerald, Diana Ross, Cindy Lauper, Robert Flack, Jill Scott, Lauren Hill, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye. And if you really need a hit get the latest in hip hop flavor (or Lil' John) to appear in you video/on you track.
There is also a large group of pop stars who have what it takes, but don't seem to have the guts to fight the system. Justin Timberlake is very talented, as is Alicia Keyes, but they are missing something.
Hip Hop/Rap: To make a Hip Hop/Rap song nowadays (their are one in the same don't fool yourself), get a heavy bass laden beat, and rap about how hard you are, how many guns you own, what you gonna do to fools that cross you, how many "bitches" you had sex with and what position you had sex with them, how much Mary Jane you smoke, and how much you drink. The more yelling of things like "WHAT"you add the better. Also just randomly throw profanity and racial slurs in it. It also helps to have every other hip hop artist in the world in your video or songs. By the way, what the Hell is this Lil' John guy but annoying. Is he just a weird looking hanger on? At one time this genre of music was the MOST vital in the industry, and now it is a joke. Take Eminem. Very talented, mired in this "i have to be controversial" crap.
You guys need to go back a few years and take a long look at early to mid hip hop: Public Enemy, NWA, Erik B. and Rakim, Boogie Down Prodcutions, Run DMC, Grand Master Flash, De La Soul.
Hard/Heavy Rock: Is pretty much dead. Most of the stuff here is screaming over guitars. Gone is a genre that defined a generation. Part of it's death was hair metal, the final nail was Nirvana. One band System of a Down is pretty decent. Much of rock and roll could look back on a few bands, and revive this genre. Helmet, Clutch, and Orange 9mm. Anyone remember the locomotive that was Guns n' Roses?
Alternative: Ok, this is a bit of a misnomer . . . and Alternative to what? At one time Alternative was underground music, then the 90's (and the explosion of underground bands)changed all that and now you have whiny emo rock bands that all pretty much sound that same, and suck. The other peice to this is the rock/rap fusion bands: band like Linkin' Park, Incubus, Korn. Again, boring teenage angsty garbage. They are all trying to be Nirvana with much less talent. . . There is some good stuff mixed in here . . The Foo fighters, The White Stripes, The Strokes . . . do me a favor and pick up and album by Ween, Cake, or the Pixies. You young musicians, make this genre vital again. Go back and study, old REM, Sonic Youth, and Lou Barlows various Incarnations. And listen to the Beatles and the Beach Boys.
R&B: no longer exists and hasn't since the 70's which is sad. The stuff they label as R&B is just pop music. Bring back real R&B. Buckos, check out Otis Redding, James Brown, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, and those old school Motown bands. That was R&B. Aw Hell, even the Jackson 5.
Adult Alternative: When did they change the name from Light/Soft rock. There are actually some very good songwriters here . . . Sara Maclaughlin, Bare Naked Ladies and so on.
Country: See pop Music, add a country Twang and a Banjo. I can't even think of any modern Country I can stomach, someone give me a clue! Go back to the old days.
Punk: Pop music with green hair. Punk Band nowadays make this really annoying style of music. Even Blink 182, and Green Day are pretty annoying. Get back to real punk. Punk was always anti-society, anti-normalcy, now punk or pro that.
The other part that is really annoying is that these modern bands don't even seem to know or acknowledge any music before 1990. Bands that don't follow this formula don't get signed, or get signed to small labels with little distribution. Open you musical ear, and stop listening to stuff on the radio and MTV are stuffing down your throats. A some other artist to check out that son't get a lot of radio time? Beck, Pj Harvey, Bjork, Miles Davis, Morphine, Johnny Gutar Watson, Coltrane, and Amazing Crowns.
And this might sound hypocritical, but the 60's and 70's are over. Led Zepplin were nice, but the world has moved on.
I am Malach you are not!
Malach's To ELIMINATE list. (REVISED 6/20/05)
First, in honor of Father's Day at the request of my father this is not a "to kill" list but a list of people/things that need to be eliminated from this planet. Kill being a rather violent word, does not really promote world peace now does it. Happy Father's Day!
Second, this list is in no order of importance and it doesn't matter to me which of the listees is sent on to greener (redder and hotter) pastures first.
Here we go buckos:
Jessica Simpson/Britney Spears/Christina Agulliara: There has been an overall movement in the music industry over the past 15 years of making highly formuliac bubble gum, tenny bopper, crap. Well these three ladies (and a few less famous others) have taken this formula to a new level. Dumb, trashy, slutty blondes, who can barley "sing". Now I will give Christina a bit of credit, as she can sing, but is this what we want our teens looking up to? I mean if these ladies were 350lbs and black they would not even have seen the light of day . . . And the depths of their vapitude. Crap is crap even if you paint it red.
Ashlee Simpson/Avril Lavigne: Now these two, follow the formula above with a little punkiness and attitude. Simpson is even more annoying riding the coattails of her "more talented" and better looking sister. These chicks are o so fake while keeping it real.
Brendon Fraiser: What is the appeal of this doofus . . . he looks like your typically mentally challenged cousin who only comes out for family reunions. Women find him attractive . . . .? I can understand Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, but brain dead? *Malach Shakes head*
Creed/3 Doors Down/Nickelback/Bush/ et al: You know, I detested Stone Temple Pilots at one time, as a talented cover band. Trust me, listen to their first few albums and compare them to Alice in Chains, Nirvana, or Pearl Jam (in fact my pet name for STP was Stone Temple Pearl Jam). Now these bands, and that whole emo-hard rock genre is nauseating. They can all sing each other songs, and every song is the same thing. They all do a bad Nirvana impersonation. I can even now stomach STP somewhat.
Limp Biskit: Is this the worst band of the past 30 years? I mean, my three year old could write those songs.
I did it all for the nookie, so you can take that cookie
. . the talent cup overrunneth.
Clay Aiken: Why is this man adored. He tries this sexy crooner routine; who is really buying that. CLAY YOU ARE GAY (And there is nothing wrong with that)! He looks like if Richie Cunnigham, Conan O'Brien, and Howdy Doody, had a kid. And that voice, make him the lead for you local community theater or maybe drag club.
Jorge Posada/Isaiah Thomas: Ever just want to slap someone. I don't even really know why. They are/were good enough ball players, and it is not like Jorge is outspoken. I just see Isiah's smile, or Jorge Dumbo ears and I lose it.
Vin Deisel: So your telling me I can shave my head, take the juice and have the acting skills of a plank and be rich and famous? And his movies do really well. Ever see Fast and the Furious? I mean all at one time. Really? I'm impressed. Out acted by a duck too.
Steven Seagal/Jean Claude Van Damme: More just want to put these two out of their misery, than elimate him. We don't need more straight to video movies. It's only a matter of time before they are pushing excercise equipment on informercials.
Dubya: You know when you hit an animal with you car, and it is not yet dead, but twitching there in pain, and you should put it out of it's misery. . . .
Dick Cheney: The Anti-Christ, eliminating him would just make the world a better place. Do you trust that face . . . No, no, I mean really.
Bill O'Reily/Rush Limbaugh: You know if you are going to the the guy to measure the moral compass of the world . . . well people in glass houses. . . .
Paula Abdul: Her singing makes Britney look like Aretha Franklin. She is about the fakest person I have seen on TV in a while. But she is so nice! Don't you want to knock the teeth out of that smile.
Rupert Murdoch: Anyone who owns that much of the media, with that kind of political agenda has to be stopped.
Joel Schumacher: Mr. Scumacher, what happened, at one time you were a very good director Lost Boys, St. Elmo's Fire . . .then Batman Forever, Batman and Robin. You sir are responsible for setting the Batman franchise back 40 years. DIRTY DIRTY BOY!
Stan Lee: Does than man realize he is over. Fine you created some nice characters. Go retire. No one cares about your opinion anymore. Why are you on my TV. 'Nuff Said!
The National Basketball Association: With ratings way down and barely beating hockey, you need to get away from the thug, homeboy basketball, that Micheal Jordan helped usher in. Iverson, Shaq, and a few others are the worst thing to ever happen to the sport. I hope you get smacked around in the Olympics again. And you idiots that defend the NBA. "Defense is much better" Doofus, you can play zone, zone was illegal up until the late 1990's. "The rest of the world has caught up" Yeah and they know how to play the sport better than the NBA does. You have ostracized white middle class America. Now a lock out should do wonders for your woes.
George Lucas: I have already said enough about him with this blog. I'll let him get back up and dust himself off, before a large asteroid lands on his head. Maybe he won't die, and the asteroid will actually be an escape pod filled with Gungans.
Hollywood: Hey guys, I'd really like to see more remakes of old movies, especially bad ones. And you know, there are still a bunch crappy Oprah books you haven't made into movies. Oh and you have remade enough of those really good movies that shouldn't be remade from the past. Hey, I would love to see an updated version of Citizen Kane starring Ashton Kutcher! Or Taxi Driver starring Jimi Fallon . . . or perhaps Smokey and the Bandit starring Vin Deisel.
Reality TV: Most of it is unwatchable. And real; more formulaic than pop music. The worst show is American Idol. Really think about this. If someone was that talented, why would they need a show like this to be discovered. I think it is funny, that these hacks disappear after their first album.
PETA: I don't think I even have to explain this one.
Christianity: Now I am going to get a lot of flack for this, but generally Christianity is more hypocritcal than the Catholic Church. Most of the Christians I know are the Bible thumping kind, and they all intepret the Bible differently; even from other Christains, and they all think thre particualar version is right. I have even had Christian associates that have told me anyone not of their particualar sect of beliefs is going to the Hell. Think about that, wouldn't you rather go to Hell? If you want to spout, "What Would Jesus Do?", you need to apply it to your own life. By the way, the Bible Code does not exist, Revelations was a book added 300 years after the Bible was finalized by the ultra crooked Council of Trent. And Creationist dogma; man don't get me started on that, that will be another long blog..
Linkin Park/Dave Matthews Band: So overated. SO SO OVERATED. C'mon I know you can say it o - v - e - r - a - t - e - d. Good job, now toss those CD's off a bridge.
Alanis Morrisette: The creator of female angst rock . . . HAHAHAHAHAHA. Hey Alanis, ever hear of PJ Harvey? Ani Difranco? Liz Phair? Why do you pretend they don't exist?
FRIENDS: This show make me want to vomit. I hate the entire cast. I wanted to write the season finally, where they all die gruesome deaths . . . that would be funny.
Ray Romano: Again, what is the appeal. Everyone loves Raymond except for Malach.
Oprah: SHUT UP! Just shut up! And take that Dr. Phil train wreck with you.
Mitt Romney: When that scumbag is the next president you will know why. Dubya; only charming and well spoken. It will take MA 15 years to recover form the mess he has made.
Tito Ortiz: I enjoy watching him lose. For those of you not familar, Mixed Martial Artist, annoying whining attitude. I wanna fight him, even though he'd kick my ass.
NASA: A wonderful example of bureacracy gone wrong. Ever hear of Spaceship One? Your days are numbered, methinks. I will give you some slack though , it is not totally your fault. I mean, your budget is half of what it was in 1985. You are is dire need a major change. Americans though, do love a good disaster, and you have becomes the masters of it.
The UN: This joke of an organization needs to be dissolved. When all you can do it make proclamations and can't stand up to half you member countries (especially the US), there needs to be a major change. UN sanctions . . . try US sanctions.
Modern Hip Hop/Rap: Disco is dead? Nope. Check out most of modern rap. Disco, only with profanity, sex, and gats. Gone are the days of Public Enemy, NWA, Erik B., BDP, De La Soul. The only thing I have found worth listing to nowadays? OutKast, Kayne West, Mr. Lif.
BRATZ and those responsible for them: Look at this:
Turning young girls into sluts real early aren't we? Why is there no out cry against these trashy, trampy, dolls designed for 6 year olds? My god, these little floozies have a ski chalet play set with a hot tub, and boy band looking metrosexual boy toys. You might want to put condoms in the package. Or at least the morning after pill.
Wal-Mart/Microsoft/Time Warner/et al: These companies have more pull and power that some countries. Goddammit, I love Wal-Mart, no I hate them, but I need to buy some deordorant for $0.25. These large "monopolies" need to have more of a social concious and worry less about profits.
Pro Lifers: It is not about killing the unborn, it is about limiting the rights of women. Pro Lifers (and groups like PETA) should be listed as terrorist groups. How does the old joke go: "Son were conservatives, that is the only type of killing we don't condone".
Marvel and DC Comics: Guys the 80's and 90's is over. You know, I have always had this dream of taking one of these companies over, scrapping their entire history and rebuilding them form scratch.
The FCC: Any organization with that much power, under the direct influence of the presidential administration needs to be dismantled. Did you know there is no legal way to fight a FCC fine? Howard Stern did an experiment. On an Oprah show, they used the word "vagina". Oprah was not fined fro the show. Stern contended he would be fined for doping that exact type of show, so he replayed the Oprah's show that contained that word, and lo and behold Stern was fined for it. It is too subjective, and based upon the whims at the time of it's leader, and the influence of the government. Be on the air and be anti-Bush? Watch out for indecency fines.
Religion in general: If religion was eliminated from the world, 90% of the wars we have fought would have never occured. You guys need to follow the teachings, and not have religions and religious leaders intrepret them for you. This leads to Jihad, child molesting preists, and things like the Inquisitions and Crusades.
The Democratic Party: No identity. Idiots pick a stance. This party is not long for the world if it does not get some good leadership soon. Don't pander to the whole world, find your indentity and stick to it and DONT BE ASHAMED OF IT!
Modern Country Music: See entry about above Hip Hop. Gone are the Johnny Cashes, Willie Nelsons (in fact these guys couldn't get signed by country labels), and enter Shania Twain and Tim McGraw. Pop music with a banjo. I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN!!! WTF IS THAT?!
Deadheads, Phishhead, Parrotheads, etc: Now really, you guys are as bad as those that dress up and have lightsaber fights in the parking lot of the local theater during the premiere of Lucas's latest Star Wars fiasco. Honestly, this stuff ain't really that good, the drugs make it better, but the 60's ended 40 years ago.
US Public Schools: Good luck 2005 graduates!!!
There is something for the buckos to mull over, please leave me your list in comments, we can compare. I am sure I left some out, may there will be a part II or a revision.
I'm Malach and your not!
Random shiznit
OK, random stuff this time . . . my first and favorite: Design your own Hell. FUN. Here's my Hell:
Rednecks
Circle I Limbo
Militant Vegans
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind
PETA Members
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow
NAMBLA Members
Circle IV Rolling Weights
Clay Aiken
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled
River Styx
Michael Jackson
Circle VI Buried for Eternity
River Phlegyas
George Bush
Circle VII Burning Sands
Creationists
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement
Republicans
Circle IX Frozen in Ice
Jacko's, been on the mind, so he is in there currently . . . the Yankees surprisingly are not, cause well, they suck this year. Did you like that, try and post yours in the comments.
Ok that contest I was telling you about, you can find it here http://invisionfree.com/forums/Cartoon_Orbit/index.php?showtopic=15619. If you are into Cartoon Orbit or Neopets, there are some good prizes. In addition some large donations will be added soon. While your are that board check out this http://invisionfree.com/forums/Cartoon_Orbit/index.php?showtopic=15592, super hero nerds can get real worked up.
My wife is away for the weekend with the camera, so no comic updates on my end until Sunday night. Now If I can light a fire under Big Uncle Gorilla's ass, we might get some more Notched Blade action soon.
Now back to Michael Jackson . . . If I were only rich and famous, I could be a murdering pedophile and get away with it. Thought for the day . . . MJ's face . . . do you think he is trying to become an anime character look at this:
Another funny quiz: Which Nigerian Spammer are you: This is me
Which Nigerian spammer are You?
I love those e-mails, does anyone really fall for them?
If you would like to link to this site, you can use this:
And here is the source code to install it.
That is all for now . . .
MALACH OUT!
I LOVE DICKS
Dick's Sporting Goods that is!. I am not normally one to harp about retail business, but if I find one that meets a certain criteria, I gush about it.
I play alot of sports, and have always shopped at either Sports Authority or Olympia (a little side note, I at one time worked for Olympia for all of 3 months, worst job I have ever had, but that is another story). Well Dick's just recently moved into Southeastern MA. Not only is Dick's fun to say, but it blows away all other sporting goods stores.
PRICE
I have saved at least $300 from shopping at the other two. There prices are unbelievable, generally 10% lower than any other sporting goods store.
SELECTION
The store is huge, and stocks everything from your major sports to camping, hunting, biking, most everthing, and a large selection. Sneakers, ice skates, guns, moutain climbing, all cheap. My kids loved the putting range. (Sorry for the commotion Dick's)
STAFF
Helpful, but not overbearing and FRIENDLY!
THE NAME
Have I said how much fun it is to mention Dick is everyday conversation!
And now for something completely different.
There is new contact information for business calls to RubberSuit Studios. Additionally, we will be moving our offices at the end of the month.
Finally, and a bit of a surprise, RubberSuit Studios, and Cartoon Orbit: The Complete Guide are putting together a large contest . . . a create-a-comic contest . . . more details to follow.
Dubya wants to "save" Social Security
In a effort to teach the young ones a bit more about the issues this country faces for the future, today I want to tackle the Bush Administration attempt at Social Security reform. First let me say, yes Social Security needs to be reformed. This country can no longer survive in the way Social Security has worked for the past 60 some odd years. The Bush plan is not the solution, and I will illustrate why. First let's discuss how Social Security works.
What is Social Security?
Social Security is a Old-Age, Survivors, and Disability Insurance (OASDI), provided as a government social service, and is the primary source of income for most workers and their families upon retirement, death, or disability. One third of the beneficiaries of Social Security are not retirees. There are 4 different types of benefits: Retirement, Early Retirement, Disability, and Survivorship.
Currently to earn a full retirement benefit, one must have paid into the system for 10 years and work to the full retirement age (65 or 67 if born after 1959). Social Security pays a high percentage of your average wages for lower money earners than higher. It is a earned benefit (i.e., you can only receive benefit if you have put into it), and is guaranteed. Benefits are paid as long as a beneficiary needs the benefits (Social security is not a investment program but a social insurance program) . This is the benefit I will focus on for this entry.
How is Social Security financed?
Social Security is a pay-as-you-go system. Social Security taxes paid by you and your employer today, are used to pay for today's retirees and beneficiaries. Social security adjust based in wage Indexing to keep pace with cost of living.
Benefits are funded from three sources:
1) Payroll Taxes
2) Trust Fund Interests
3) Taxes Collected on some benefits.
The majority comes form payroll taxes (6.4% for both employer and employee) up to a ceiling of $90,000 per year. Earnings above that are not taxed (see it pays to be rich). In attain if you make enough money per year from Social Security that is also taxed (nice huh?). Social Security also invest monies paid into trust funds (managed by the treasury department), and to ensure monetary gain they are invested in bonds.
The Problem
As you can see the issue is this, the Baby Boomer Generation. It is twice the size of the generations that followed combined, in attain Baby Boomers will live much longer as the generation before it. At the regular rate of retirement, there will be a major funding shortfall, in 15 - 25 years, and bankruptcy of the system will soon follow(2041).
Dubya's Plan
First, I need to stress, that this is very scary. There is a lot of info about this out there, do your own research; but I will try to break this down as simply as possible. What Dubya wants to do is scrap the whole system for anyone under the age of 54.
First, they plan on indexing Social Security benefit growth with the price index, instead of wage index. Prices tend to increase much more slowly than wages, thus reducing the benefits, and the benefits increase much more slowly than the cost of living.
Secondly they will allow workers to place 2 - 4% of their Social Security benefits into private accounts, up to a certain capped amount. How this works is essentially, the government will give you the percentage up front to invest, then you will pay the government back (with interest) and anything left over is yours. Now get this, the taxpayer will be responsible for monitoring that account for solvency, paying what ever fee setup there is for these private accounts, and be ultimaltety responsible to make sure those accounts actually make money. In addition, there will be a limited choice of options available for those monies, mostly stock based. Upon retirement workers would receive there already reduced Social Security benefit, and a monthly benefit from these private accounts.
The Issues
Ok, think about the majority of people in the world . . . How many of them do you think are knowledgeable enough to invest correctly into this system. To come out ahead in this plan, one would have to earn 3% real rate of return on the investment per year (real means after inflation and brokers fees), anyone earning less than that will make less in retirement that they did in the regular Social Security system. In addition this would put ones financial future at risk for loss in the stock market, and if you hadn't noticed, the market has not been particularly good.
Upon retirement the government will cash out the private account in the form of an annuity, which will be effected by the volatility of the market. Example, if using this plan, a person who retired in March of 2000, would have third more of a nest egg, than someone retiring in March of 2001 using the exact same investment strategies. Again, how does one expect John Q. Public to invest properly when professional monet manangers usual underperform the indices of the market. How many of you know the difference between a growth stock and an income stock? How many people realize than went interest rates rise, bond prices go down? This is all simple stuff, imagine the stuff you will need to learn, or pay someone else to know?
It currently cost $0.06 per dollar to maintain Social Security, it will cost much more to maintain private accounts, further increasing the national debt and burden of the current Social Security System. In fact, under this system, Social Security will be bankrupt by 2030.
There are better solutions to this . . . The government still has yet to pay back the money it borrowed from the system to get into a arms race with the Soviet Union. Why is money over $90,000 not subject to the tax?
The government wants to mortgage your future. They want to line to pocket of the banks, brokers, and the rich. Call you representatives. This needs to be stopped.
Affiliates and Allies.
This short blog is to recognize our worthy affiliates and allies to RubberSuit Studios. Please support them as you have this site, learn a few things, be entertained.
Cartoon Orbit: The Complete Guide. If you are into Neopets or Cartoon Orbit, this is the only place on the web to be. 1200+ members very active. The membership there is high quality, and fun, and the site caters to much more than just Neopets/Orbit. RPG's, a 713 page Dear Malach, lively debate, and general subjects. I am also a moderator there and can be found there quite often.
Dr. Murk's World. The good Dr. is in to answer your question to anything you might have to ask him. Very funny blog, a host of dedicated readers.
The Angry Piper. What do you get when you cross a liberal martial artist, with a fetish for large women, and bag pipes . . . need I say more. A very funny, well written, moralistic blog.
The Angry Veteran. Another blog from a veteran of Iraqi Freedom. A lot of truth, vehemence, and insight. The writer was a Lt. Colnel, and a high ranking Military Intelligence official. A very Good Read.
Palmer's Corner. A random rant from a teen anarchist. Also has something to do with the creation of Super Ned: Man or Psychotic Maniac.
You can meet all these people at the Minimum Security Forums, and fan forum for this site and a general discussion forum.
Thank you again for this site support, and spread the wealth.
Malach.
Equal Oppotunity Agonostics, or Really Looking for that One Way Ticket to Hell
Just to show you that myslef and Hex, are equal opportunity agonostics, we introduce in the next episode series of JesusMan (entitled Rapture), Vishnu. The next episode series is so funny, it makes the previous episodes seem as a dissertation of the mechanical function of a lever. There will be numerous guest appearances, in the next beyond Vishnu, but those will be surprises. Our hope is to piss off enough Gods, to guarantee us a one way ticket to eternal damnation.
Becuase of JesusMan, I have had a number of people question my religious beliefs. I will use this little forum to spread the Good News of Malacholism. First off, I am not an atheist, I do believe there is a God. I don't believe that God is a old man with a beard sitting up in heaven, but more of a spiritual being, not understandable by man.
Now we get to the tricky part . . . was Jesus the Son of Man? The Messiah? Honestly, does it really matter? I don't care who or what you worship: Yhaweh, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Vishnu, etc. All religions derive from the earliest religions. Look at Zoroastrianism, The Egyptain, and Greek/Roman relgions and see how similarJudao-Christain tradition is to them. One of my favorite sites on the net is Religious Tolerance.com. This site basically breaks down every religion in the world, from the common to the not-so-common, in a simply easy to understand format, and provides information, UNBIASED information. If you are unsure of your beliefs, or just want to explore, this is the place to go. I can spend hours at this site.
Remember this, all major religions, they teach us the same philosophies. In a nut shell:
1. Treat people as you want to be treated
2. Respect the Earth as it is a gift
3. Know there is something greater than you.
Nice huh? Now if only the world could follow it.
Dude, where's my country?!
This is partly in reponse to a compadres blog, and partly in response to thoughts that I have expressed over the past 6 years of Dubya's administration. First off, I am not a Democrat, I am not a Republican. I have been accused of being a "bleeding heart liberal", and even on occassion a Communist. I did not vote for Dubya, either time, and I did not vote for any independent candidates (even though some are very good). I am not even a huge Dubya hater, even though he is a brain dead zombie. I do at this point detest the Republican Party and everything it stands for. And if that is treason, you can come get me . . .
This country has taken so many steps backward. . . Rights, Creative Freedoms, Scientific Advances, Diplomatic Relations, since the beginning of the Dubya years, it makes me worry. I worry about the trillion dollar debt that this party feels it needs to run to keep the banks pockets lined. I worry that this country has stepped and squashed so many rights in this country, under the veil of the "War on Terror" and "Morality", that I sometimes wonder what kind of file the FBI has on me. I worry about this militaristic, if you not with us your terrorists attitude, in our highest offices. I worry that our dimplomatic relations are so bad with the rest of the world, that even Canada hates us. I worry that by the time Dubya is set out to pasture, that we will be involved in so many conflicts, with our troops streched so thin, that it will leave us defensless. I worry that our "all volunteer armies" recruitment is at an all time low, and if we are going to be fighting these conflicts, don't we need troops, and how do you think we are supposed to get them? I am worried that by the end, interest rates will be so high, that no one will be able to afford a mortgage. I worry about my entitlement to Social Security, which I have paid for, and will never get. I worry that we lose good jobs by the bucketful everyday. I worry that someone on minimum wage cannot afford a place to live. I worry you can be labeled as a terrorist and lose every right guaranteed to you by the Constitution. I worry that cures for AIDS, Cancer, Paralysis, are only a few years away, but the government won't fund the research based upon some twisted Christian ideal. AND I REALLY WORRY ABOUT THE FACT THAT IT SEEMS THAT PEOPLE OF MY GENERATION AND YOUNGER DON'T SEE THIS.
Don't you kids realize what is happening to this country? Can you not tell, we are no where close to where we were 6 years ago? Do you not realize, that this administration has no interest in you or your success?
I am scared; that if one doesn't prescribe to a certain Christain Moralistic outlook in this country, you are either a traitor, a bad parent, unamerican, a baby killer, etc, etc. You are black balled, and ostracized. Does anyone remeber Joe MaCarthy and the "red scare?" Last I looked, Jesus did not found this country (that is another blog). In fact, this country is so anti-religion, that some of the things going on in our government are boderline treasonous.
I tell you this now, Mitt Romney will be the Republican candidate for president in 2008. Mitt is Dubya, only charming and well spoken. He charmed his way in to this state, and look where we are now. Keep an eye out for Mitt . . . Soon, Very Soon.
THEY'RE RUININ' MY SUMMAH!
As a native New Englander, I am very used to Mother Nature's fickleness when it comes to New England weather. Nor'Easters, Blizzards in late April, 70 degress in December, beautiful one minute, hurricane the next. There is a old saying around here: "You don't like the weather, wait five minutes".
All cliches aside, this Weather is starting to PISS ME OFF. We have not had one day over 70 degrees since Spring began. Yesterday, May 25th, it is 45 degrees, pouring, high winds . . . a fuggin' Nor'Easter (for the uneducated that is New England for a ocean powered blizzard that spins and comes in from the North East). STOP IT! The average temp this time of year is 68 degrees, this months average, 50, if that. I have even sent threatening e-mails to local meteorologists.
Speaking of meteorologist, is that not the best job in the world? They pay you to guess. The only two jobs in the world, where you only have to be right 30% of the time and be considered one of the best in the indusrty: Meteorologist and Designated Hitter. I chose the wrong profession.
Which bring me to my next point; My beloved Boston Red Sox. I too stated . . ."I only want to live long enough to see the Red Sox (Patriots) win one". You would think I would be happy? Red Sox Nation is the largest subsection of depressed people in the world. IT ACTUALLY PUTS ME IS A BAD MOOD WHEN THEY LOSE (man the basball season is long). WTF is that all about. They are currently going through a bad stretch right now, and you should hear The Nation talk. Mark Bellhorn DIE! Bench Millar! Renterria = Rent- a - wreck! The gallows will be out soon. Anyone not from this region, go to WEEI.com, and sign up for their live webstreaming, and listen to how insane we all are. Wait until 6PM and listen to the Whiner Line. Man, if the F'n Yankees, were in 1st place, it would be 10 times worse. You would think the Witch Trials would start up again. Man, them damn, Yankees, they are the Nazi's to Red Sox Nation. Walk around here, and see young men wearing "Jeter is a Fag" and "GAY-rod" t- shirts . .
. You wanna know how bad it really is? I still have this saved on my computer:
No wonder A-rod needs therapy. This local punk group did this song called "Here We Go Patriots". The entire songs lyrics was the rest of the NFL teams followed by "They Suck!". The chorus, "Here We Go Patriots". The last line of the song goes, "New York Yankess, They Suck!" Yes, sad. The really sad part is, the Sox are only 1 game off of last years pace, their offense is the same (even though Manny's hitting like . .. oh pick a dead relative), their pitching is only slightly worse.
I can still remember crying when the ball went through Buckner's legs . . . A quote from Red Sox Nation, Public Enemy number 7, Grady Little: "In Boston there are not 162 games, there are 162 seasons". Perfect. Too bad he wasn't smart enough to take Pedro out of game 7 in 2003.
Luckily, Jerry Remy, the world's best announcer, does their games. If you have not heard the Rem-Dog, you do not know what you are missing.
Ok, catch my breath . . .
Dear God,
Please bring the summer soon. In exchange I will give you a co starring role in JesusMan.
Your Fresh Friend, with Mad Skillz,
Malach.
I did not know my blog had such an influence
I saw Star Wars, Revenge of the Sith (to be referred to as Ep III) last night, and I must say, my faith in George Lucas, the Star Wars franchise, and CGI, has been some what renewed. While I would like to let this movie sink in a bit before I pass final judgement, I will say a few things. This movie was definitely much more in the vein of the old movies. The action, the high adventure, the mystification at the special effects, the spiritaulity of the Force, were all there. In fact, I can possible hold this up with the old movies. I was definitely better than Episodes I and II. It ties the whole thing together. And seeing this movies makes me understand why Lucas has fiddled around with the originals, and possible want to remake Epidsode IV - VI. Compare the lightsaber battles from this one to any of the originals you will see why.
The use of CGI, while overblown, was much more effective, and the use of models and live props, defintely fit in much better (thank you Peter Jacksom) and made the overall movie, much more effective. The CGI did not get in the way like in the other 2 movies.
There are some issues I have, that I will get out of the way now:
1. Over all the dialogue, was cheesy, clicheish, and pretty poor (but all the Star Wars movies had this problem.)
2. I don't know what it is, but the acting was pretty poor. It seems to me that Lucas is a one take director. Hayden Christiansen again is nauseating. But why do very good actors like Ewan MacGregor, and Natalie Portman deliver lines that are at points painful to watch . . . I guess I got to blame Lucas for this one.
3. General Greivous, was much more intimadating in Cartoon Network's Clone Wars. If you have not seen this, pick this up, you will be amazed, and it fills in the gap real nicely between II and III.
4. Lucas has some type of fetish with severing limbs, at least they don't bleed afterward like in Ep. I.
5. The whole Metchlorian (sp) thing is stupid, and the fact that the Emprorer eluded to himslef creating Anakin by influencing them, is as stupid as the Messianic creation of Anakin, through Metacholrians.
6. SOME MINI SPOILERS TO FOLLOW: The whole scene at the end, where Anakin is officially Vader, in the body armor and with the James Earl Jones voice, and he has this huge emotional outburst, is very painful to watch. Ultra Cheesy. Very 1950's monster movie (Frankenstien). Also one of the final scenes with the Emporer, Vader and a young Grand Moff Tarkin, looking at the Death Star being constructed, is not really set in time well, and makes the viewer think that I takes 20 years to build the thing.
Overall though, I would recommend this film, and even encourage Lucas to remake IV - VI.
UPDATE: I am about 50% done with The Next Wraith. Should be up soon. Thanks to those who bumped the Webcomicslist buttons, both comics are now in the Top 100. I have no idea what is going on with Buzzcomix, but this has been going on for over a week, and frankly, is disappointing and embarassing for the "Number 1 webcomics list on the net."
CGI
This relates a bit to my hatred toward George Lucas, but I will tie that later in these thoughts. First I would like to talk a bit about the "competition". Since I have been doing these webcomics, I have notced something about the large majority of popular webcomics. They tend to be very poorly written, but beautiful "imaged", or poorly "imaged" and extremely well written.
I used the word imaged, becuase many of these comics are not drawn, but done via computer. Maybe I am a bit old school, but all the images you see on RubberSuit Studios have been done by hand. I have flirted with computer graphics, but generally don't like them. Why? I find Computer Generated Images, or CGI, look very fake. They are so realistic, so perfect, they come off as unreal. Hand drawn images have defects, as does life. Even the best CGI, with intentional defects, still look hyper realistic.
The kids defintely seem to be into CGI. Who to blsme? Anime. Much of anime is CGI, but besides Ghost in the Shell none are as good as Akira. You even can see CGI in The Justice League, and The Batman, both extremely good series. What occurs is that the vehicles are CGI, and for some reason, don't fit in. You can also blame, Movies.
Now don't get me wrong, CGI can be very effective . . . take the Lord of the Rings movies, the difference that that and say Star Wars 1 - 3, is that Peter Jackson used a combo of models and CGI. This is where Lucas failed. Look at the early Star Wars; puppets and models. These films still can compete with any modern CGI. The models, because they are "real" have the properties if real objects, the weight, the defects, where the CGI, is so real, so realistic, they turn into a Thomas Kincaide paintings.
But it is popular, and I guess that is what the people like . . . of course the people like Clay Aiken the Anti-Christ also and voted for Dubya.
Happy Anniversary, Gay Marriage is 1 year old, [adult swim], JesusMan Update!
Today is the one year anniversary of the legalization of Gay Marriage in the State of MA. Not much has changed since then. The "moral minority"of this country, which is so outspoken (and tend to vote, which is a future blog), are more than determined in keeping homosexuals as second class citizens. WHY? Who does it hurt?
One of the big issues is bibilical tranlations in regards to homosexuality. All over the old testament are words and phrases calling homosexuals devils, and denouncing the gay lifestyle. Jesus Freaks love to quote some of the passage about "man not lying with man". Isn't that conveinet. Again this is another issue I have with the moral minority. They pick and choose what they want from the Bible, to denonce other groups. Now isn't that a good Christian ideal!
First, Jesus Christ never addressed homosexuality (and why did he only hang with men?). Second, you cannot pick things out of the Bible and say they are fact and discard others. Homosexuals are bad, Evolution is false, etc, etc. What about the parts of Leviticus, that go on to talk about how "slaves can only be taken from surround, non-Isrealite countries"? How about that the Bible calls women and blacks chattle? I don't see any of the cross wavers promoting that (at least openly).
Homosexuals hurt no one. They do not stalk heterosexuals to sexual attacks them covertly. There was a time in this country in which I can remember where "Gay Bashing" was common place.
Was it not Jesus who said;
"Love you fellow man, like you would love yourself?"
As a bit of an aside, I was posting a link to JesusMan, on the [adult swim] forums. I was attacked by two members as being a "lesbian blaspheming devil". Well, I am not a female (my avatar was), and do these doofuses even watch [adult swim]. Ever seen Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, or Family Guy? I'm blasphemous? The two idiots were also sporting Family Guy avatars.
Speaking of Jesus, the next JesusMan webcomic is 50% done. The plot thickens as Felix and John Paul II merge . . . and the world is in for a good reaming, by SUPER MEGA POPE - ATRON!
George Lucas Must DIE!
Ok, so I go the trilogy for the ole' birthday and have been rewatching it with my 3 year old. Star Wars of course is near and dear to my heart as it was the first movie I ever saw in the theater (thanks Memere). Now we all know how Mr. Lucas has "revamped" the old series more to his liking, and pretty much destroyed it with Episode I and II (and yes Episode III looks good, and really how can your screw up Vader's origins, but I won't hold my breath).
Ok, so I am watching Return of the Jedi with the my young son. And of course in this new DVD offering there are some changes, mostly computer enhancement and such. They actually added a longer part for the Emperor and new graphics for when Vader in talking to him via the holocommunicator in Empire Strikes Back, but that did not bother me as much, as the Emporer looked much better than the original, and it tied the orginals with the lastest.
OK, back to the story. So the Empire is defeated, the new Death Star destroyed, and the Ewok celebration begins . . . of course there are those new computer graphics scenes they added some time ago of the people going into the streets of Mos Eisley, Corsrucant, et al, and celebrating like the Red Sox just won the World Series . . . at least the removed the scene with the crowd surfing Stormtrooper. So then Luke, the ever brooding person he is, steps out from the Ewok party to confront the apparitions of his father, Yoda, and Obi-Wan. Here the kick in the balls . . . they replaced the old Annakin, and the actor who played him, with the greasy haired Hayden Christainsen Annakin. I just about fell out the window.
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY!
George Lucas, what is you problem. Why take these classics and do this. It does not improve upon them? Georgie-poo, here's and idea. Remake the three of them, as you see fit. I am sure some studio will give you all the money you want to do this, and the brainwashed Star Wars masses, will sell the theaters out to see them (me included). WTF, why mess so much with the originals?
Now I won't go into the last two movies, do I really need to? My only comment is this, the Cartoon Network, Clone Wars, was so much better than these movies, should of had that team do them.
I am now sending Mind Bullets to Mr. Lucas as we speak . . ..
Update!!
There might be some delay in the next few pages of JesusMan and The Wraith as I am currently contracted for 3 web design jobs, I will try to get some done during my free time. Thanks as always for your on going support.
Man people are up tight about religion
Beyond my own forum, I am the member of a few others, by far the one with the most membership is Cartoon Orbit: The Complete Guide. Now I am a web jerk, and like to do web experiments. The latest, is the last of a series of "Who Would Win in a Fight" threads. We this is my masterpiece: http://invisionfree.com/forums/Cartoon_Orbit/index.php?showtopic=14109&st=0. It pits, Jesus vs. Yhaweh vs. Buddha vs. Vishnu vs. Mohammed in a fight to the death.
It is fuggin' hilarious to watch the responses to this thread . . . Of course Jesus is winning, becuase of the glut of Jesus Freaks online. And of course I am trying to get people to think this through logically (why would Christ beat God?). I find it surprising that if I post a battle Gandalf vs. Superman, people can think that through logically, but the brainwashed Rapture Nuts, cannot think beyond Jesus is the Messiah. Please check this out have have the laugh of your life. And a post few thoughts also. It's funny, I even have two guys from India fighting about Vishnu.
So the other day I am on my forum Minimum Security, and this "Christian" joins bascially to attack me for Jesusman. Not only were they rude, profane, and very poor speaker, they ended up being banned (congratulations, you are the first). So after calling me an asshole, I responded "Well that was awfully Christian of you" . . . and there was no reaction to that.
I cannot wait for the day when were are visited by aliens so we can compare beliefs.
As an aside, the very first guest strip of Noched Blade, will be up tonight or tomorrow!
Misc. Debris
I have added a new feature to Stool Sample Webcomics, MISC. DEBRIS. With MISC DEBRIS, we are hoping to do the following:
1. Display old stuff
2. Post designs and sketches
3. Host Guest Strips
4. Post 1 shots.
If you think you have a strip that you would like RubberSuit Studios to host, email it to us.
AND A BIG ANNOUCEMENT! Today we passed 100,000 hits. Thanks a bunch.
Russel the Love Muscle
Thanks a million to Russ for letting me borrow his digital camera, there is now a new Wraith and JesusMan uploaded!!! Thanks Again!!
JesusMan will RISE AGAIN! Or Chinese Cowboys
It's official the circuit board on the camera is fried, so while I have updates for both The Wraith and JesusMan, they will be delayed until the camera situation is fixed. This is very annoying since these comics have been on a roll. Even though there is nothing new, keep supporting this webcomics.
Well now for some happy thoughts. If you are ever in the New Bedford, MA area, check out a tex-mex restaurant called FRESH TORTILLAS (sorry no web site). Some of you from the NYC area will be familiar with this restaurant and FRESCO TORTILLAS (A top 10 eatery in NYC). Let me begin at the beginning. A young Chinese Immigrant who learned to cook Mexican in Mexico, opened a series of restaurants in NYC. So popular that he expanded to of all places New Bedford MA. Walk in this place and you would swear you are in a cheesy, fast, Chinese restaurant. THE FOOD IS AMAZING. CHEAP, HUGE PORTIONS, . . .1541 Purchase St., New Bedford MA. (508)979-5888 or (508)979-1238.
Now let me also talk about my punk compadres, who also do Mexican . . . NO PROBLEMO . .. these guys owned a skate shop, then made a hip Mexican restaurant. HUGE PORTIONS, GOOD FOOD, with a twist on the Tex Mex them. Purchase and William St., New Bedford, MA (508)984-1081. Check them out.
Update!!!
Bad news, my digital camera is currently busted, I will try and fix it, if not, I will be purchasing a new one this weekend as a combined Mothers/Fathers day gift. What does this mean? No webcomic updates until the camera is fixed/new one purchased! Hopefully Big Uncle Gorilla will send me some Notched Blade strips to tide you over. Keep bumping those webcomic buttons (speaking of that, Buzzcomix, has been down for 4 days this week . . . obviously they have not payed their hosting bill . . . kind of sad for one of the top webcomic listing sites on the net).
Since I put up the RSS feed, hits to this site have jumped 500%! This is only for the first couple of weeks, well see if this lasts. That is it for now, I will keep you updated on the camera.
Get Yourself SOUL INJECTED
OK, my trip to NY was fun, and I got no work done on either webcomic. So be it. I did a bit of work today and The Wraith will be uploaded tomorrow. BuzzComix, evidently forgot to pay some type of bill, and their site has been offline for a few days, so I lost some votes there, GO VOTE THERE NOW THEY ARE BACK UP. As for the Webcomics List, both comics are in the top 150, a few more votes and they go into the top 100.
Since I added the RSS feed, hits per day have gone up about 200%. AWESOME. Keep at those Kanoodle ads.
Now for my trip. The wedding was over at 10PM?? So the a large part of the wedding went to a place called Poor Richards Pub, at the Ramada Inn, in New Hartford, New York. There, I saw the most amazing band . .. . There were so bad and cheesy, they were awesome. SOUL INJECTION MUSIC!!! If you are ever in Central NY, check them out.
Also, I noticed, driving back from NY into MA, there is a new sign right on the border. "Welcome to Massachusetts" and in HUGE letters, "HOME OF THE 2004 WORLD CHAMPION BOSTON RED SOX". I half expected to see "Yankees Suck" at the bottom.
